Stop and smell the roses

It's been way too long since I've blogged. I know I shouldn't let my completely full iphoto thus all my pictures are stuck on my camera until I figure out what to do about it keep me from blogging, but I do. I mean who wants to read my blah blah blah without even a picture to keep it interesting?!

I have so many thoughts that I want to get down on paper but they never seem to make it there. They are just bouncing around in my head making me crazy.

Like the fact that I am so happy to have a husband who is alive and well. We were camping Wednesday when we learned of a fatal accident that occurred at his work place. I can't stop thinking about this terrible accident and how it could have been him. Sometimes we have to stop and remind ourselves to slow down and enjoy what we have.

The past several months have caused me to reflect on my life. We have seen many deaths in our family in less than a year. Most recently being the death of my Grandma. We knew it was coming and in a way it is a happy time for a women age 86 who was the last of her family living, but we mourn for ourselves and our selfish desire for her to remain with us. But I think of the wondrous reunion she had with those who were waiting on the other side and I am happy.

I have to ask myself, am I really the Mom and wife I should be? The kind of friend and person I want to be? I fall short but I will keep trying. I know I can always do better. Like how I just stopped in the middle of typing this sentence to scold Stockton for eating his boogers, then I felt guilty for being sharp with him. Ugh, will I ever stop guilting myself over everything? Probably not.

I don't even know what the point of this post is. Maybe to clear my head, get out some of the things I am thinking and maybe I won't have to think about them anymore. But tonight I am going to hug my boys a little tighter and stop putting off for tomorrow what I need to do today, because you never know when tomorrow won't come.